This is my contribution to Sarah Bessey's synchroblog on "What is saving your life right now?"
So many things save me, every day.
11 pounds of unconditional, curled-up-next-to-my-leg-as-tightly-as-possible, love.
A little boy saying, "Ms. Ashley. I like you. I like when you come to my house."
The rise and fall of another little boy's ecstatic giggle when I offer him an Otter Pop.
Novels that wreck me in just the right way and then put me back together in a wholly unexpected fixing.
The people we meet with every Monday evening.
A blogging community that stretches my heart and mind in ways I never thought I would be stretched...ways that are painful, annoying, and beautiful.
Relationships once thought to be lost, but are found again.
Weekends to celebrate with family, adding to family, to look forward to.
Friends and family breaking bread together at our table.
Hot coffee out of a mug made especially for me by my Kindred Spirit.
Peter, Wendy, Neverland.
Trying a new recipe and declaring it a success.
My bed...and ALL of the life-saving properties contained therein.
The peace that comes from choosing to rest in God's faithfulness even when it seems impossible.
An appointment to have my hair cut.
Moms clamoring to claim a day for me to watch their most precious gifts.
Mostly though, what is saving me right now, is the friendship, trust, loyalty, camaraderie, love, equal partnership, and team that I have in the gift of my Mr. Ford. His quiet strength and leadership and never-ending faith in the Lord's care for US, offers me the equilibrium that I so often need. His deep desire to do what he can to make a way for us to live out our dreams together and the way in which he needs me and my discernment to help make those decisions. His perseverance and hard work in everything he does. The way he notices me, large and small. His servant heart. The way he seeks out the wisdom of those who have gone before him. The faith he has in me and my strengths. His arms wrapped around me and the softness of his kiss. His smile, his blue eyes, his blonde hair. The way he sprawls across the floor or the bed or the couch that says he has not yet lost the little boy inside. The way he doesn't move away from, but rather towards, me and my ugly cry when I am at my weakest. The sound of his laugh when we are totally relaxed and silly. The way he allows himself to be the instrument through which God speaks to me, that right now, I hear best. All of the ways he gives himself to me and humbly and joyfully accepts the ways I give myself to him.
My husband, my friend, my lover, my partner.
Right now, HE'S what's saving me.
What's saving you right now?