|Graphic via here|
I must beg forgiveness for my lack of showing up here.
Which is ironic because God has been stretching me much farther than ever before in certain areas and He's been teaching me that no matter what, no matter how hard (or easy) it may be, you must always show up...show up for yourself and show up for the people in your life.
I don't ever want to stop showing up for the people I love. I want them to know they can count on me.
But sometimes I am literally at the end of my ability to do so; at the end of my grace bucket and I have stretched the rope it is attached to as far as I can possibly stretch it to reach those who need me to show up and I simply cannot do it.
This is where the brutal/beautiful - or "brutiful" as my friend (by which I mean blogger I follow on whom I have a total friend crush), Glennon, over at Momastery says - work of God in my life takes over. When I get to the bottom of that bucket that's at the end of that rope, it leaves me no choice but to allow God not to just fill up the bucket, but to literally continue to pour out the grace from that - what my faulty, sinful, human eyes can only see as empty - bucket and to extend the rope as far as it needs to go to reach whoever it is that needs reaching. The only requirement of me is to show up.
And so I'll continue to show up. And I'll continue to let God stretch me and pour out His grace through me and my bucket...even when it's empty. It's not always going to look perfect. I've realized, it's often going to be brutiful. But God doesn't ask us to be perfect vessels through which to work. All He asks of us is to show up with our vessel...no matter how empty, ugly, cracked, or messy it might be.
And if I fail to show up for you or if it looks a little messy when I do...just know I'm trying. Forgive me when I fail because showing up is a hard thing. But as one of my dear mommas, Momma D, who knows a thing or two about hard things, reminded me, "I CAN do ALL things through Christ Jesus". Even the hard things. Like showing up. Even THAT I have to let Him do through me...He shows up through me. There's no two ways around it. The only way to make it in this life is to realize and embrace the fact that you must WHOLLY and COMPLETELY rely on God for EVERY possible move you make. And THAT is truly brutiful.
We - God and me and you - can do hard things. (Another Momastery mantra.)
PS - We had a whole lot of celebrations going on last weekend and I promise to show up tomorrow to tell you all about them! ;)